Since seppaku is unlikely, how about this speech from

[oaktonhokie]

Mitchy McDonnell:

Ladies and gentlemen as you know the healthcare repeal and replace Bill has failed. At least for now.

That means I have failed.

I would like to apologize to my constituents in the great state of Kentucky, to Republicans everywhere, and to the American people for my inept failure to keep a promise made every year for seven years.

That being the case, I hereby offer my resignation as majority leader in the Senate to become affective at a time when a suitable replacement can take over.

Thank you.

[HokieJoe]

Mitchy McDonnell:

Ladies and gentlemen as you know the healthcare repeal and replace Bill has failed. At least for now.

That means I have failed.

I would like to apologize to my constituents in the great state of Kentucky, to Republicans everywhere, and to the American people for my inept failure to keep a promise made every year for seven years.

That being the case, I hereby offer my resignation as majority leader in the Senate to become affective at a time when a suitable replacement can take over.

Thank you.

I will gladly take that apology and resignation.